Missing Components

I think babies are missing a few key components in their design. Here's a few things I think should have been included.

1. An indicator light: I've fed him, changed his diaper, rocked him, walked him, cuddled him and he's still crying? I think an indicator light would be really handy in these situations. Heck, they would be convenient even if it's just because he's hungry because then I could solve the problem much faster.
2. Poop on demand button: Just put him to bed and you're walking away and hear the pppppttttt? Just changed him, put on his onesie, put on his pants, put on his socks and then buckled him into the car seat and you hear a ppppptttt? Um... yes, a poop on demand button would be REALLY helpful.
3. Snooze button: Self-explanatory.
4. Mute button: Okay, before you judge me on this one... sometimes babies just cry and there's nothing you can do. So... in these instances a mute button, or maybe just a volume button to slightly turn it down for the neighbors (riiiiiight, for the "neighbors" *wink*).
5. Spit up alarm: You've used the spit up cloth/blanket/towel the whole time you were feeding him, you get a few good burps out of him and then you keep him upright for several minutes just to make sure. Then, you get up and bleeeeeh all over the clothes you were planning on wearing out that day plus a little in your hair. Where's the cloth/blanket/towel now? Not where you need it. An alarm would be nice so at least you could maybe dodge it or grab that cloth/blanket/towel in time.

These things would be nice but sadly I was not consulted when it came to the design of babies. I guess you could argue that God - being omniscience, omnipotent and omnibenevolence - might not need my held but I like to give my opinion. Oh well, I still love my little Beckham even if I could've used a mute button for the past 5 minutes.