Oh My Husband!

One thing you can say about Chris is that he's always entertaining. One of the reasons I married him so I must say that I've enjoyed this entertaining quality of his for the past five years.

Always on the lookout for the next thing Chris discovered that Zion's bank was having a competition to find the "cheapest" person. After narrowing it down to 10 finalists they then compete in a web series to win 10,000 dollars. So, in true Chris like fashion, he's sitting in class when he comes across this and decides he's got nothing to lose. Well, he made it to round 2!! So yesterday we spent the little time we had together, between school and meetings, to film a 60 second video. Here's the unedited version since it's a little funnier.

The beginning is a bit boring but make sure you watch the whole thing since the end is much funnier... I mean it's only a minute long, what else do you have to do with your time?

Pinterest Love (plus a baby)

So, as from the title of this post, I am going to be delving into another pinterest project. However, before I do that I need to announce that Beckham is smiling!!! He's been doing it for a week now but I FINALLY was able to get the timing right and snap a picture. There's nothing like having your baby smile at you to form an instant bond. No matter what you feel for your baby before that moment (hopefully it's love) everything changes when you get a smile.

How goofy is that smile? Loooove it! I was so happy when I got this picture because when I pressed the button it was a much smaller smile but in the second it took my camera to focus he whipped this sucker out. Looks like I have a poser. 

For the record, I'd like to point out that he is smiling early. So basically, what this means is Beckham is a genius and will probably solve world hunger, cure cancer and become president all before the age of 5. I don't care if you can't become president until your 35.... Beckham will smile and they will change the law.
Besides, he already has his presidential pose worked out. Don't believe me?

I'm pretty sure that he's dreaming about the masses cheering at him with adoring faces. And he's all like, "Ugh, it's so tiring being this loved."

Well, baby or no baby, pinterest projects must be completed. And since Halloween is coming up I thought it would be appropriate to make a Halloween wreath.

Inspiration, courtesy of ourbestbites.

 This past weekend we stayed at my in-laws since Chris's brother and his fiance were going to be in town. And it's probably pretty important that I actually meet my future sister-in-law and give my approval. Because, as we know, my approval is puh-retty (un)important. But, I also figured this would be the best time to get a project done since I'd have helping hands. At least with Sawyer because, as you will see, newborns are fun to oogle at but not hold.

Yes, Beckham decided that he only wanted to sleep if he was being held so I obliged but didn't let that get in the way of my crafting. What you can't see is that this is a three person couch and I'm taking it all up with my supplies. In the course of me making this wreath several people walked into the room looking for a spot to sit and I decided to keep my eyes squarely on my project as to avoid that awkward situation.

And here is the finished product:

I wish the door wasn't such an ugly metal gray but I can't help that. But look at that awesomeness!! I wanted to throw in some color since it is Halloween and how can you not use orange and black? Love the spider too... the only time in my life I will ever say that since spiders are devils incarnate.

I have to admit that I'm a little scared to put this on my door since I fear it might get stolen. I mean... if I walked by an apartment with this on it... I would take it. Be warned, if I'm ever your neighbor and decorations go missing... I took them. I'll deny it... but it was me.

Missing Components

I think babies are missing a few key components in their design. Here's a few things I think should have been included.

1. An indicator light: I've fed him, changed his diaper, rocked him, walked him, cuddled him and he's still crying? I think an indicator light would be really handy in these situations. Heck, they would be convenient even if it's just because he's hungry because then I could solve the problem much faster.
2. Poop on demand button: Just put him to bed and you're walking away and hear the pppppttttt? Just changed him, put on his onesie, put on his pants, put on his socks and then buckled him into the car seat and you hear a ppppptttt? Um... yes, a poop on demand button would be REALLY helpful.
3. Snooze button: Self-explanatory.
4. Mute button: Okay, before you judge me on this one... sometimes babies just cry and there's nothing you can do. So... in these instances a mute button, or maybe just a volume button to slightly turn it down for the neighbors (riiiiiight, for the "neighbors" *wink*).
5. Spit up alarm: You've used the spit up cloth/blanket/towel the whole time you were feeding him, you get a few good burps out of him and then you keep him upright for several minutes just to make sure. Then, you get up and bleeeeeh all over the clothes you were planning on wearing out that day plus a little in your hair. Where's the cloth/blanket/towel now? Not where you need it. An alarm would be nice so at least you could maybe dodge it or grab that cloth/blanket/towel in time.

These things would be nice but sadly I was not consulted when it came to the design of babies. I guess you could argue that God - being omniscience, omnipotent and omnibenevolence - might not need my held but I like to give my opinion. Oh well, I still love my little Beckham even if I could've used a mute button for the past 5 minutes.

And Life Goes On...

Tomorrow will be four weeks since I've brought Beckham home. I think anyone who has had a baby can understand why I've waited so long before writing a blog post. Primarily I had to get past the period of return. No going back now, right? I mean, I guess that technically the period of return expired over nine months ago. You know, THAT day. However, for my own sanity, I'd like to believe that the hospital could put him back, for at least a little bit. But... four weeks of growing and he's not going back anymore.

You would think having had Sawyer would make having a second child easier. Pfffffffffffffffffftttt.... no. Nothing in the world can make waking up at 3am to feed a child any easier. It doesn't change the fact that when he's crying at me incessantly I hold him at arms length and declare he is the last child I'm ever going to have. Or the fact that after I've fed him, put him in his bassinet, turned off the lights and am almost asleep and that's when he chooses to poop. Of COURSE I'm going to question if it's REALLY necessary to change him or is it really that evil to wait until he wakes up again. (If you're wondering what path I choose on that one then I plead the 5th.)

Babies are hard. Is that news to you? It shouldn't be. And if you think for some reason it's going to be different for you... it won't. In fact, if you are under the assumption that having a baby is easy, I predict that you will be the one crying every night and wondering what you ever did to deserve this. And what did we do to deserve this? We were babies once and we did it to our mothers so it's only fair.

You want to know what's not fair? Men and the fact that they don't have boobs. Men should have to grow them when they have a child. Not only to nurse but also so they can understand the excruciating pain they cause. Because then maybe they'd understand why that area no longer belongs to them and has become the sole property of baby. Also, they'd understand that just because we carry portable milk containers, it does not mean that I want to whip them out at every public place for the baby to nurse (like the state fair.... Chris). No, I prefer to nurse in the comfort of my home because then I can just whip it all off and not worry about some strange man ogling me while I feed my child. Why couldn't milk come from an easier part of the body... like the tip of my finger.

On a lighter note, Sawyer has reached the milestone of leaving his crib for the big boy bed. We weren't quite ready for that but as Sawyer had taken to doing suicide dives out of his crib we thought it was necessary for his survival to make the switch. I was a bit worried because we didn't have a guard rail for the twin bed but for four nights now he has stayed solidly in the middle of the bed.

So, for now, I'm surviving. However, never ask me how I'm doing at 3 in the morning. Primarily because that would be creepy. But also because if you ever want to see where zombies reside you will find them nursing a child at 3 in the morning. Which, in retrospect, might be the only reason why might survive. But, then again, I think I could nurse with one hand and still kill you.