I'm really bad with diets. Really. Bad. Like... I can't recall a diet that I've ever been successful with. Not because my memory is poor but because, literally, I don't think I've had a diet last more than a week. Wait, I take that back... there was one semi-diet that worked but... if I'm honest with myself it wasn't really a diet. I gave up soda for a year and was successful... but I think most people would agree in that it wasn't a diet.
So... here I am, 10 lbs away from losing all the baby weight and at the start of a new diet. A diet that I've already failed at. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I found a diet that I thought I could do and started it on Monday. Well, I planned to start it on Monday. However, when I woke up Monday morning I didn't have the stuff to start the diet and had to get to the store but I wasn't able to get to the store until later in the afternoon and let's face it... if you can't do a diet in the morning there's no point in doing it later that day.
So Tuesday, new start, yes? No? Well, kind of. Fruit is not on the diet. It's a low carb/low fat/ high protein diet so I can eat greek yogurt, egg whites, black beans, pinto beans, lentils and vegetables (minus potatoes). So no bread, sweets or fruit. No fruit? INSANITY! So, I figured that I would "cheat" and have a pear. I told myself it wasn't really cheating since it's fruit and fruits natural and good for you. Then I looked up carb content of pears. Boo. BOOOOO. Booooooooooooooo....
Now Wednesday rolls around and I'm determined to be good. And I was pretty good... until I ate a piece of by bread. Why did I eat bread? I'm weak and I hate myself for it but it was tempting me on top of the fridge. It called to me saying "Victoria! Eat me! Roll me up into little balls and eat me under the guise of feeding it to your child but for every one you give him you eat 10." See what diets do to me? They make food talk to me.
Thursday started and I really wasn't even pretending at this point to want to diet but I stepped on the scale and thought, "I can do this!" And for 10 minutes I really thought I could and then my children both woke up with fevers of 101 and I laughed while I ate my cereal and eyed Sawyer's starbursts.
Friday Sawyer and Beckham both still have fevers and are short on their tempers and I feel a tickle in the back of my throat as I feel the cold spreading it's cold tentacles to me. Diet? No, I've moved on from Sawyer's starburts to his popsicles in the freezer.
Saturday, not only have I depleted all of Sawyer's potty treats but the kids are still sick and Beckham is now coughing like a 72 year old man. So do you want to know what I did? I pushed all of my diet food to the back of the cabinets/fridge/freezer and replaced them with starbursts, popsicles, ice cream, pop, frito chips, bean dip and chocolate graham crackers. Diet fail.
So here I am, Sunday, my kids fevers are gone, I'm feeling semi-better and most of my Saturday binge treats are gone and with a new resolve to do this diet starting tomorrow.
I should be able to do this. I know if I did it for a solid 4 weeks I would be good. So we will see. But if I never post again... know that I failed.
